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Colgate Toothpaste

(Actually any white toothpaste - but not the whitening kind!)


Polish silverware, silver, or gold.  Colgate will shine up silver and gold. Rinse thoroughly.

Clean piano keys.  Squeeze Colgate on a damp cloth. Rub the keys well, wipe dry, and buff with a soft, dry cloth. After all, ivory is made from an elephant's tusk.

Remove ink spots from cloth.  Squeeze Colgate on spot, scrub, and rinse thoroughly.

Dry up acne pimples.  Dab Colgate on pimples as you would use Clearasil.

Remove crayon from walls.  Brush the marks with Colgate on an old toothbrush.

Remove scratches on glassware.  Polish with a dollop of Colgate.

Deodorize smelly hands.  Squeeze an inch of Colgate into your palm and wash hands under running water.

Remove Kool-aid moustaches from kids' faces.  Rub on Colgate and rinse thoroughly.

Remove tar from the bottom of bare feet.  Squeeze on Colgate and rub.

Deodorize "sour" baby bottles.  Scrub with Colgate and a bottle brush.

Remove scuffs on shoes.  Apply Colgate with a tissue, rub, and wipe off.

Fill small holes in walls.  Use a small dab of Colgate as emergency spackling to fill in small holes in plaster walls. Let dry before painting.